What does it look like, this equality that you speak of?

To everyone – woman and man – who says they’re a feminist because they believe in equality, I have to ask you, what does it look like, this equality that you speak of?

Gender.  You probably want gender equality, don’t you?  But gender is inequality. Gender is the convenient invention, the way we train women and men to be different, to be unequal. Gender equality is a smokescreen. Gender is a hierarchy.  Feminine, masculine, they can never be equal, they are subordination and domination dressed up in frilly pink and crisp blue.

You mean wage equality, right? Are you going to achieve that by equal pay for equal work? Yes? Or no? ‘Cos that’ll never do it.  Work has no inherent value and just somehow, we’ve ended up with women’s work undervalued, so unless we all do more of the same, or unless we increase the value of what we see as ‘women’s work’, we’re stuck.  Wage equality without radical reform, is an impossible dream, never to be realised with the Equal Pay Act.

Child birth? Are you looking for a brave new world where that is equal? Or a world where bearing and rearing children does not render women unequal?  Are men gonna wipe an equal number of bums? Babies bums? Sick folk’s bums? Old folk’s bums? Equality of sharing, caring, cleaning and weaning.

What about valuing women for how we look? You know, the patriarchal fuckability test?  Are men going to be equally judged by what they look like, rather than what they do? Women can chose to walk in painful heels, to maximise their ‘assets’, to flaunt or enhance their curves. Some women enjoy that femininity shit, don’t they? You surely believe in a woman’s right to choose, don’t you?  Of course you do. But what do we chose? Why do we? If we’re equal, would we? And those that choose not to, will they be equal too?

What about war? Do you want women to start an equal number of wars to men?  To fight and die in equal numbers to men? To rape in equal numbers to men? For men to be raped in equal numbers to women? Which is it?  How’s that going to work under your equality? What about no war? Maybe no war. But in this man made world of arbitrary boundaries and power struggles, how’re you going to achieve no war?

Democracy’s great, isn’t it? A cornerstone of equality, maybe, for sure?  But only 24% of the UK cabinet are women.  You’ll sort that out in the name of equality, won’t you? And where’s the equality when 6 percent of children go to independent schools but make up 45% of the cabinet?  When 61% of the cabinet graduated from just two universities?  5% percent of the cabinet – two people – are from black and minority ethnic backgrounds.  What’s democracy again?  Power of the people,  ruling through freely elected representatives? It’s just that not everyone gets an equal chance of representing.  Just not rule by representative representatives.

What about the sale and purchase of women? Are men going to be commodified just the same?  Objectified? Pornified? Trafficked?  Pimped?  Ah, yes, but what about choice again?  That old turkey.  A woman’s right to choose to sell sex? Are men going to make the same choices? If not, why not?  Where’s the market? And how come it’s poor women, black women, in some counties indigenous women, who disproportionately make that choice?  What about their equality? What about mine? If some women are commodities and some men are buyers, how can any of us ever be equal? If my sisters are for sale, they cannot be, I cannot be, equal.

Equality under the law?  Yeah, surely you want that too.  But how are you going to get that, with laws written by rich white men to protect the interests of rich white men? When we have a legal system celebrated for innocent until proven guilty. When insufficient evidence is synonymous with lack of guilt, with innocence. Can’t you see how it’s stacked? When poor people, black people and women who have been abused are disproportionately found guilty, disproportionately disbelieved, where’s the equality?

When the Equality Act 2010  covers age, disability, gender reassignment, race, religion or belief, sex, sexual orientation, marriage and civil partnership, and pregnancy and maternity but not class, not poverty, what is even the point of pretending it’s about equality?

Male violence against women? Bet you believe in equality there too, don’t you? Domestic violence is gender neutral, right? Rape?  Those hidden male victims?  If you refuse to see inequality, if you don’t even believe that most violence is perpetrated by men, how are you going to achieve equality?  Which equality are you going for there?  Increasing the number of male victims? Increasing the number of female perpetrators? Can’t be reducing male violence, can it?  Male violence isn’t a thing, is it?

In all this and more, equality just doesn’t provide the answers.  Equality is a condition of a just society, not a cure for an unjust one.  So when I say feminism isn’t about equality, it’s about women’s liberation from men’s oppression, this is what I mean.  Ending inequality is a big part of feminism, of course it is. But equality is impossible in the society that we have. That’s why feminists talk about smashing patriarchy because we need to think bigger. I don’t even know what a society free of patriarchy would look like.  I don’t know how we’ll get there, but I know we’ll never get there down the road called ‘equality’.

Early this year, I heard Bea Campbell ask ‘What would a world without male violence look like?’ Shit. I can’t even imagine that.


9 thoughts on “What does it look like, this equality that you speak of?

  1. Life as we know it will NEVER, EVER be equal amongst men and women. It’ll never happen in my lifetime. I know this. I have accepted it. Men aren’t going to change, or give up their power anytime soon. Why would they want to? At the end of the day, all that matters to them is that they have made their money for the day, maybe they have a oppressed wife (slave) at their home to make them dinner, soothe their aches, pains, and egos, and maybe fuck them. They could give two shits about treating women as equals! If men really loved women, they would not be raping, killing, sexually harassing, cheating on, buying prostitutes for paid rape, drugging our drinks, hurting our children, psychologically and physically abusing us, etc. Even though they were born from a woman, they still hate us with a passion! Men do NOT want to treat women as equals. If they did, they would. Straight up. I believe in fighting the good fight for equality, but I know we are fighting a losing battle. This crap has been going on for centuries. All we’re getting for “rebelling” for equality is more and more backlash from men. You can see it in films, music videos, art, t.v., song lyrics, etc. In these medias, we are being reduced to mere sex objects, and definitely NOT equals! Its getting worse out there. Porn is more violent than ever. Guys are watching this garbage in astounding numbers, and it does affect their attitudes towards women. Most of their opinions were lousy about us at best, but now it seems they’ve lost all respect for us. Guys don’t ask a woman out for just dinner and dancing anymore. Its more like ” hey, can we fuck,” or things like that. Disgusting. In closing, I’m still going to fight for equality, but we’ll never get it as long as our oppressors won’t give it to us.

  2. Equality what equality? Oh yes that equality the one which men create and define from their male perspective because men have always claimed ‘man (sic) is the definitive human species whereas women are other!’ This is mens’ equality but I have yet to discover the fact that men can reproduce but doubtless men will create this myth because to date since only women can reproduce then this is discriminatory to men!

    We don’t want mens’ equality what we want is the extermination of mens’ Male Supremacist System which men created in order to justify and maintain all mens’ pseudo sex right to dominate and oppress women legally!

  3. Judith Lorber wrote a passage called “Imagining a World without Gender” in Breaking the Bowls that I always found inspirational

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